It's not news that I'm a nocturnal being. But it has been a while since I've stayed up long enough to be greeted by the morning sun.

For the first ever time, I tried to visualize how my future would unfold. And I don't mean fantasizing about about an ideal future. I'm talking about taking everything into account, considering all possible factors, and viewing things realistically.

Alas, I am no soothsayer.

And for a cynic such as myself, that's the scary part: Not having the slightest clue what's in store for you.

Typically, I'm one to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens. That has always been my philosophy. However, it seems that this particular philosophy isn't the best one to live by. Because really thinking about it, you can't just wander aimlessly about in life.
At this point in life, you are expected to be sure of what you want and what you've got to do to achieve it. The actions you take now will affect your future. There is no room for fooling around, no time to waste. You can't afford to mess up. Don't disappoint the people around you. Sure, one can argue that you can always redeem yourself if you do screw up. But honestly, who wants to go through the humiliation that ensues if you do screw up in the first place? And what if you mess up so badly that redemption isn't even an option?

What if one day I wake up and realize that I've chosen the wrong path? What if I really am that incompetent and can't even secure a lower second class honours law degree for myself, so a first class honours is out of the question? What if I can't get a job to support even myself, let alone my family? What if I do screw up and disappoint my parents, the very people who have invested their valuable time and money in me my whole life? What if...
I know the worst case scenarios are not inevitable. But despite all the effort and hard work, what if it's just not meant to be?